Monday, February 27, 2006
Waking Up
Insubstantial, I'm surrounded in darkness. Soft, warm, embracing support, with a vague odor of....of me. Identifying my own natural scent lifts me up a level, closer to the surface. Sound is added to smell, a rustling of sheets and blankets. Up one more. Now there's a new sensation, cool air on...on my face. I am a body. I am solid, physical.
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2 comments:
Nothing feels stranger than waking up from years of denial. Trying to make sense of a world seen through different eyes, eyes not clouded by self-imposed lies and illusions, is scary. Nothing is familiar. Every experience is disconcerting and alien.
I wish there was a camp where you could go to retrain your brain. Get new neural pathways here! Painless perception readjusments! Recreate your own reality!
It isn't painless. It's hard work. After years of trying, I sometimes think I haven't changed a thing. Everything changed, but everything stayed the same.
We create our own thoughts don't we? If we want to live with lies and illusions, who do we have to blame that on? But I think waking up from years of denial is a wonderful thing, scary to be sure, but then again do we create the fears observed in the new world?
We can retrain the brain quite easily. OK, it is hard work, but every day of working at it for a while you'll start seeing the bell curve take shape I think. It will be just fine, you'll see.
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