Forgiveness is good for your health. Really. They've done studies on it. People who are 'forgivers' have lower blood pressure and pulse, fewer physiologic stress responses, and more positive emotions. They also sleep better, are more energetic, have fewer physical symptoms and use fewer medications.
Sounds like a no brainer. Let's all be forgivers. Too bad it isn't as easy as it sounds, eh?
What is forgiveness anyway? What does it mean to forgive someone? Say somebody hurts you in some way. They say, "I'm sorry." You say, "That's okay." Have you forgiven them? What if it really isn't "okay?" What if it will never be "okay" what they did? What are you going to do?
"I forgive you" sounds like it's more about what I do to you than what is going on in my own mind. It even has a slightly haughty, patronizing tone to it, as if I'm anointing you or something. But forgiveness isn't something you do TO someone. In reality, forgiveness has little to do with the other person.
If you forgive someone, that doesn't mean you condone what they did. It doesn't mean you excuse it, or even that you think it was "okay." It doesn't mean you will forget what happened, or even necessarily that you reconcile with them. Forgiveness happens in your own mind, and is a process of letting go of the anger and resentment you have. How do you do that? You make a decision that you will not allow those thoughts to dominate your well being or mess with your peace of mind. We control our own thoughts, after all. You can decide what you will or won't think about or dwell on. Our thoughts create our experience to a huge degree.
Thoughts can open the back door for unwelcome feelings to come in. If you hurt me, I can decide to stew about it. "How dare she? I can't believe what she did! That really hurt me. Ow! She's such a *&^%!" etc etc. If I start thinking like that, anger and resentment will soon be invading and before I know it I'm hogtied in my own kitchen. Who wants that? Not I.
You cannot count on someone who hurt you to apologize, to try to make amends, or even to recognize that they hurt you. If you hold your breath for any of that, well, you'll suffocate, that's what.
Let it go.